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Some days, your brain just clocks out by 10:13am. You’re at your desk. You look alive. But mentally? You’re in another dimension, probably building a fantasy grocery list or reliving an argument from 2007. Still, you need to keep up appearances. Whether it’s for your boss, coworkers, or just your own sense of dignity, here’s how to look busy when you’re absolutely, completely, 100% not. 1. The Strategic Spreadsheet Open Excel. Any spreadsheet. Doesn’t even matter what it is. Add some random numbers. Use formulas like =SUM() and =IF() to look like you’re solving nuclear physics. Bonus points if you tilt your head and occasionally sigh like you’re deep in thought. People will avoid asking questions because nobody actually wants to look at a spreadsheet. ...

Let’s just be honest. Cats know things. They know when you’re upset. They know when you’re about to leave the house. They even know when you’re trying to sneak vegetables into their food. But what most people don’t talk about enough is how sometimes, your cat actually gets you better than your human friends do. Sounds crazy? Maybe. But also, maybe not. When you were sad but trying to fake itYour friend said you seemed fine. Your cat, on the other hand, was already sitting on your chest before you even realized you were spiraling. Cats don’t need you to cry or talk. They just feel the vibe shift. It’s kinda spooky but also weirdly comforting. You can ignore your feelings all day long, but that furry therapist with the murder mittens? She already clocked your emotional dip. ...

The internet is a weird place. Like, really weird. Sure, you can order socks at 3am or find a recipe that uses four kinds of cheese and zero judgment. But it’s also full of digital rabbit holes so strange they’ll keep you up at night. These aren’t your usual Reddit threads. These are the ones that stick in your brain like gum in carpet. So here you go. Ten creepy internet mysteries that still haven’t been solved. Proceed with caution. ...

Look, some people are born organized. Color-coded calendars. Alphabetized spice racks. Socks that match. The rest of us? We’re just out here trying to remember if we brushed our teeth this morning. But you don’t have to be organized to look organized. That’s the secret. Fake it well enough, and nobody questions it. Master the art of the visible tidyNobody’s opening your drawers. So stop wasting energy sorting junk you never use. Just keep the visible surfaces clean. That means one basket for rogue cables, one shelf that always looks tidy, and a clean kitchen counter. Boom. Instant illusion of togetherness. Even if your junk drawer could legally qualify as a hazard zone. ...

Alright, let’s get this out of the way—Mercury in retrograde is not the reason you forgot your password, dropped your toast jelly-side down, and accidentally replied-all to your boss’s passive-aggressive email. I mean, maybe it is, but also, maybe we’re giving that poor little planet way too much credit. 1. Retrograde is real—but it’s not a curse Yes, Mercury does go into retrograde a few times a year. That just means it looks like it’s moving backward from our view on Earth. It’s an optical illusion. Astronomers are like, yep, totally normal. But astrologers? They’re out here treating it like it’s a cosmic DEFCON 1. Communication breakdowns, travel issues, tech meltdowns—they blame it all on Mercury doing a moonwalk. ...

eBay is a magical place where dreams go to die and come back as slightly used vintage waffle irons. It’s part thrift shop, part time capsule, part black hole. And while most folks use it to buy sensible stuff like secondhand phones or old DVDs, there’s a special corner of eBay reserved for the truly bizarre. 1. Haunted dolls Yeah, this is a thing. People pay actual money for dolls that are supposedly haunted. You’d think the point of a haunted object would be to get rid of it, not sell it online like it’s a lightly used Fitbit. The listings are wild too. “This doll whispers at night and rearranges furniture.” And yet someone out there is like, yes, perfect, I’ll take two. ...

We all do it. Grocery lists. To-do lists. Lists of shows we swear we’ll watch but never actually do. There’s something deeply satisfying about a good list. It gives you structure when life feels messy. It promises control. Order. A plan. But what’s really going on in our brains that makes us so into them? Lists give our brains a breakLife is chaos. Lists are not. When everything’s shouting for attention, a list says, “Here’s what matters right now.” Our brains are constantly juggling thoughts, and that gets exhausting. A list is like outsourcing your mental tabs. You don’t have to remember everything. You just write it down and move on. It’s like clearing your browser cache, but for your thoughts. ...

I used to think sunscreen was for beach days and toddlers. You’d slather it on once in December, then forget it existed until your shoulders peeled like lasagna noodles. But turns out, sunscreen is not optional. It’s a full-time lifestyle. And unfortunately, I didn’t get that memo until my 40s, when my face started looking like a road map. The sun does not care if it’s cloudyI honestly believed overcast days meant I was safe. Like the clouds were doing me a favor. Nope. UV rays still get through. Like, a lot of them. Clouds are not sunscreen. Neither is a baseball cap. Or a car window. Or vibes. UVB burns you, but UVA ages you—and UVA doesn’t care what the weather’s doing. ...

Ever notice how that first cup of coffee on Monday just… hits harder? Like it’s dragging you back from the dead with a half-hearted apology. You could drink the exact same brew on a Wednesday and barely get a nod from your brain, but on Monday? That stuff feels like it should be illegal. It’s not just in your head. Probably. First off, let’s talk about the weekend effect. On Saturdays and Sundays, most people sleep in a bit, maybe skip the early coffee routine or push it back a few hours. That messes with your body clock. Then Monday shows up like a cold bucket of water, and your circadian rhythm is like, wait what the hell is this? So when you finally get your caffeine fix, your brain’s more sensitive to it. It’s like your adenosine receptors are standing around wide-eyed and underpaid, just begging for something to do. ...

Group chats started out with such promise. Just a fun place to stay in touch, right? Keep the vibes alive. Share memes. Coordinate brunch. But somewhere along the way, they turned into digital purgatory. Everyone says they love the group chat. No one actually means it. They never freaking endThere’s no off switch. No clean escape. You mute it, but then feel guilty. You leave, but that feels dramatic. Like you just announced a divorce. And it’s never just one group chat. It’s the family one, the work one, the friend one, the spin class one. Every corner of your life wants a thread now. It’s exhausting. ...